It can be so painful to see a family member or friend with a substance abuse problem. When you have a family member or friend who abuses drugs or alcohol, it truly can break your heart.

All you want is for them to stop doing this hurtful behavior and to return to who they used to be before drugs or alcohol first entered their lives.If you speak with a family member or friend, you want to do so in a way that they will listen to you. For many this can be a hard conversation. Many that abuse drugs or alcohol are in denial about their behavior. Your bringing it to their attention may make them angry or it may make them disagree with you about how damaging their behavior is. They may downplay their drug abuse or alcohol abuse.

Gather your thoughts first and write down some examples of how their behavior has been damaging for their life and for others. Be as specific as possible. Try not to be emotional about the details, just give the facts. The more factual you can be – the harder it can be to argue with you.

That being said, it is important to express your love for the person. That you are doing this because you love and care for them. You don’t want them to die from drug or alcohol abuse. You want them to lead a healthy and productive life. Telling them that you love them is very important.

Getting together with several family members or friends to tell this person may be the best option. When they hear this information from more than one person, it truly has a chance to sink in. Just remember before you speak how you would feel if someone said those words to you – and you will be sure to speak with compassion and wisdom.